Managua, Nicaragua Ain't For Beginners

For many gringos living in Costa Rica, Nicaragua is the one-stop country for quick visa runs and cheaper products.  While I could choose to bribe the border patrol a generous amount to get my visa stamped and simply return to San Jose the same day, I'd rather have the 72 hour adventure into the dark heart of Nicaragua's urban mess: Managua.  Don't be afraid.



We already know San Jose taxi drivers are not to be trusted.  Managua unfortunately is worse.  The driver of my Transnica bus informed me of this.  When we arrived in Managua he told me to go with him and his trusted taxi friend.  I found this shady as well, but it seemed better than the other option of standing at the bus station at 9 at night waiting for the other taxi wolves to attack.  The driver took me to pleasant enough Managua Backpackers Inn for a honest price of 5 dollars...

I survived a night there, which was only (literally) dampened by finding my backpack soaked the next day due to the rain that had came through the half-opened window.  Rainy season in Central America is a real bitch.  After handling some hostel business with the manager I left the place for a Couchsurfer, and with a lovely German girl I kidnapped from the hostel we became three.

What happened to her serves as fine example of what to watch out for in Managua.  She was robbed by a taxi driver.  He took her and her gringa friend to a dark alley where his friends were waiting.  The taxi driver and his friends demanded all of their money, their passports and electronics.  Fortunately they were not physically abused.  When I met her I could see she was a tough little German.  She wasn't crying, but was more bent on revenge and how she would survive with the 30 Euros she had cleverly hidden in her sock.  What more can I say: Don't take taxis in Managua.

Have I said that enough?  After finding the Couchsurfer's house we spent the rest of the day at the mall, which has the best thing in Nicaragua for Americans: modern air-conditioning.  This was followed by a night out at various bars where I discovered the most dangerous part of Managua: Lesbian Bar Fights: 

These women scared me.  Those are women - although its hard to tell.  Several beer bottles were thrown about and one lucky girl got a chair smashed over her head during the melee.  We stayed incognito in the corner while this fight went on.  No point in having the gringo draw attention to himself.

Next time I'll stay inside and just drink Flor de Cana and Tona beer.  No, really, I would never stay inside when the club is calling.  Ya bailamos!  Dance all night, and salud, bitches!

Costa Rican Addresses Don't Exist

You saw our pretty new black and green sign.  Think that's enough to find us?

Sorry. It's not.  I'm sure you're thinking, "I'll just tell the taxi driver the address and he'll find it on a map."  First let's pretend the taxi drivers aren't crooked and won't try to rip you off.  Here's the address you will give them to find us:

Costa Rica "Street Sign"

 "100 meters west of Roosevelt School..."
"A large white house on the corner with a black sign and flags..."
No, this isn't 1864.  Costa Rica still uses cardinal points and landmarks instead of real numbers and street names.  Take a quick walk around San Jose and you notice city maintenance forgot to put numbers on the buildings and only put up about half of the street signs.  Several years ago, there was a national vote to implement addresses, and the people actually voted it down.  


Here's a brief sampling of real "addresses" in San Jose in increasing order of difficulty (with links):
  1. Skating Rink San Pedro: 50 meters east of the Hispanic Fountain
  2. National Theater: 2nd Avenue between 3rd Street & 5th Street
  3. Hotel Del Rey: 1st Avenue & 9th Street, 1 block southeast of Parque Morazan
  4. Soda Tapia: East Sabana 42nd Street, 2nd & 4th Avenue in front of Colegio Luis Dobles Segreda
  5. Costa Rica Language Academy: Barrio Dent from Autos Subaru, 300 meters north and 50 meters west on Ronda Street.

I won't bother with the pop quiz because I know you'll fail it.  Finding your way around San Jose gets more complicated due the fact that traffic is atrocious and crossing the street requires balls of steel and a little luck:

This was mostly filmed at the rotunda in front of Mall San Pedro close to Castle Tam.  I had to brave this crossing in order to find the previously mentioned Costa Rican Language Academy, where one of our guests is studying Spanish.  Between this and the novel-worthy directions, a 10 minute walk turned into a 1/2 hour voyage of twists and turns and near-death driveby collisions.

The positive part of this long search for the Costa Rica Language Academy was the discovery of one of the illusive street signs that lay hidden in San Jose like pirate's treasure.  The search continues...

Note: As of 2013 another effort to install road signs has begun.  Let me know if you see them.  Foreigners will probably use the signs, but locals will continue to resort to the old system of landmarks and cardinal points.