Some travel website thought my rants about Costa Rica were worth publishing, because I was writing something different from the usual happy, smiling green tree frogs, cute tree sloths, "Pura Vida" bullshit. I submitted one blog post; they published it, paid me, and I spent the money on a bottle of Flor De Caña Rum to celebrate my success.
Not surprisingly, the post comments were split 50/50 between: "You wrote a well-researched, informative AND funny article," and "You're an ignorant asshole, gringo." I responded to the negative comments in Spanish.
Following this, the website requested a write-up to be titled, Things Nobody Ever Tells You About Costa Rica. This is the result. Even though this article is a series of true stories, it must have scared them off, since I haven't heard from them yet, but my irritated Tweets prompted them to finally publish it.
Maybe you won't be offended by myFive Reasons Costa Rica Sucks (the real title,) Five Shitty Things No One Tells You About Costa Rica, an even better title they chose. After reading it again, I decided to edit it and add more information in order to shut down the haters I expected to get.
Too late. It got published before the additional edits.
It wouldn't have mattered anyway. People today have Internet ADHD and just have the patience to read 140 character Tweets before making a well-informed, "Y U SUK, LOLZ" opinion. Judging by the posts, most readers got halfway through the first paragraph of the article before writing profanity-filled, misspelled, Wikipedia-researched comments. They vehemently defended Costa Rica's rose-tinted tourist wonderland image, and most assumed I was an ignorant redneck who hadn't traveled anywhere outside of the "First World." Apparently, clicking on my blog link with 2 years worth of travel posts was too much effort...
Enjoy the complete version, with further edits if I ever feel motivated.
Maybe you won't be offended by my
Too late. It got published before the additional edits.
It wouldn't have mattered anyway. People today have Internet ADHD and just have the patience to read 140 character Tweets before making a well-informed, "Y U SUK, LOLZ" opinion. Judging by the posts, most readers got halfway through the first paragraph of the article before writing profanity-filled, misspelled, Wikipedia-researched comments. They vehemently defended Costa Rica's rose-tinted tourist wonderland image, and most assumed I was an ignorant redneck who hadn't traveled anywhere outside of the "First World." Apparently, clicking on my blog link with 2 years worth of travel posts was too much effort...
Enjoy the complete version, with further edits if I ever feel motivated.
Article For Matador Network:
Everyone told me I live in "The Happiest Country In The World." So why after 2 years in Costa Rica am I paranoid, depressed, alcoholic and ready to shoot the next person who calls me, my friend? My concerns started before my flight had even landed at the haphazard concrete and steel structure they call Juan Santamaria International Airport.
I thought I would have a nice, quiet flight with an empty seat next to me. Not quite. Right as the last boarding call was announced, a sweaty, extremely hairy kid sporting a tie-dyed shirt and Birkenstocks rushed into the plane and slumped down next to me. He gave off an odor of marijuana-tainted apathy, and most likely planned to live in some organic commune in the middle of the jungle with a ragtag bunch of other idealistic hippies who hate "the system," but ironically made enough money from it to escape. After we took off, he pulled out a tinfoil-wrapped package and asked me in a conspiratorial tone, "Do you eat brownies...Y'know, special ones?"
Mmm, tasty.
Going through customs always makes me paranoid. Doing it with weed-induced altitude sickness makes me want to lash out at first sight of the menacing, gun-toting customs officers who greet me at the airport. This dirty hippie gave me a fitting introduction to the many problems I would encounter while living in paradise.
Going through customs always makes me paranoid. Doing it with weed-induced altitude sickness makes me want to lash out at first sight of the menacing, gun-toting customs officers who greet me at the airport. This dirty hippie gave me a fitting introduction to the many problems I would encounter while living in paradise.
1. Naive Tourists: Tourists like my tie-dyed friend hear many anecdotes praising Costa Rica as the veritable utopia of Latin America, a part of the world known more for drug trafficking, violent crime, kidnapping, and poverty. They assume that if the travel industry calls it "The Switzerland Of Central America," then surely it must function as efficiently and safely as that little quasi-neutral European country. I stepped out of Juan Santamaria International Airport with a hopeful smile, thinking that at the terminal exit there might be an easily visible, well-marked bus stop with regular buses to the San Jose city center.
Nothing. Smelling my gringo scent, I was greeted by 524,003 short men with comical English offering me "very good prices" to San Jose.
Nothing. Smelling my gringo scent, I was greeted by 524,003 short men with comical English offering me "very good prices" to San Jose.
2. What Public Transportation?: The taxi drivers were telling me there was no bus, the station was far away, it was too late and other such fanciful lies. Gracias a Dios, I speak Spanish. I found an honest person who directed me to the bus stop, which is hidden on the opposite side of the large parking garage. There was no schedule. Buses come every "20 minutes or so." Eventually a bus took me to the central Alajuela-San Jose Bus Station.
Notice I said "Alajuela" Bus Station. San Jose does not have one, or two or even three central bus stations. At the time of this writing, there are about 25 different stations and stops to various locations around the country. Efforts have been made to centralize the transportation, but the greedy bosses who own the individual bus companies are not ready to give up their control so easily. This usually means having to take a taxi from the Alajuela-San Jose Bus Station to another station in order to transfer to that bus to beautiful sun-kissed Malpais.
3. Taxi Vultures: Taxis are a necessary evil for tourists. You do not have to find one; they will find you. You can have fun negotiating prices with illegal "pirate taxis" but, like pirates, they are bloodthirsty and will rape and pillage you. If you prefer riding legally, find a taxi that is red and has a clearly marked, inverted yellow triangle with black call numbers. In local slang, the taxi meter machine is called La Maria. Be sure to tell the driver to turn it on. He will smile and commend you on your knowledge of Costa Rican tiquisimos, and later complain to his colleagues that some gringo knew this code word.
Taxi drivers do not even know their way around the city, or they pretend not to know when a tourist gets in the vehicle. One night I went with my lovely blond French friend to a club called Mas Tequila in the San Pedro neighborhood where I lived. I told the driver the address in Spanish: "200 Meters Southeast of the Flag Rotunda, Boulevard Dent, Plaza Antares." He drove around the Flag Rotunda to Boulevard Dent then...drove right past it on the same road we came from:
"Hey! We just drove past Mas Tequila."
"No, no, no. It is in Barrio Dent."
"What? Uh, no. We just came from Barrio Dent. Turn around. This shouldn't be more than 3000 Colones"
"You aren't from here. You probably don't know."
"I've lived here for one year and I work in San Pedro neighborhood. I eat lunch at Plaza Antares."
"What? You don't believe me??"
He angrily pulled the vehicle over and stepped out. He went back to the trunk, and reached in to get...something. I doubt it was tequila. At this point my blond French friend jumped out of the taxi and started apologizing to the driver. Her sexy French-accented Spanish relaxed him for a moment.
Ooh la la. I slammed a rojo (1000 Colones) on the passenger seat then walked away before it got complicated.
Ooh la la. I slammed a rojo (1000 Colones) on the passenger seat then walked away before it got complicated.
4. The "Green Season": Why take taxis? Well, out of the 12 months of the year in Costa Rica, it's raining for approximately 15 of those months. In the tourist industry, this period is called the "green season," because "never-ending-depressing-rainy-season" doesn't sell as well, and India already owns the legal copyright on "monsoon season." Taxis are the best way to avoid getting soaked if you visit Costa Rica during any month that isn't named January.
On the plus side, hotel rates are cheaper during the "green season," which is great as you will be spending most of your vacation in them.
On the plus side, hotel rates are cheaper during the "green season," which is great as you will be spending most of your vacation in them.
5. But There's No Military, People Are Peaceful?: There's another good reason to take taxis. It's safer than walking the streets after nightfall. I come from St. Louis, an American city which twice won the dubious award for "Most Dangerous City In The USA," (We're #1!! Woo!!) and I have never been assaulted there.
Witnessed a murder scene in front of my apartment, yes. Had my car broken into twice, yes. Had a man offer to suck my dick for crack money - well, naturally. But never physically assaulted.
During 2 years in happy Costa Rica, I was robbed twice: once with a knife, and another time with a gun. The first time was expected, as it happened in San Jose, the urban capital city. The second time was surprising, since it happened with another person on a road in the jungle on the outskirts of Puerto Viejo, a small, relaxed Caribbean coastal town - appropriately enough on my last night in Costa Rica.
Witnessed a murder scene in front of my apartment, yes. Had my car broken into twice, yes. Had a man offer to suck my dick for crack money - well, naturally. But never physically assaulted.
During 2 years in happy Costa Rica, I was robbed twice: once with a knife, and another time with a gun. The first time was expected, as it happened in San Jose, the urban capital city. The second time was surprising, since it happened with another person on a road in the jungle on the outskirts of Puerto Viejo, a small, relaxed Caribbean coastal town - appropriately enough on my last night in Costa Rica.
This is nothing. All my Costa Rican friends can outdo me with their own armed robbery stories. They tell these stories as casually as the latest soccer scores between the big teams, Alajuelita and Saprissa. One of my friends has been robbed 8 times in her brief 24 years. This is why she buys the cheapest mobile phones; she expects them to disappear on a regular basis, like that left sock in the dryer.
Of course, nothing bad may happen to you in Costa Rica, especially if you take an all-inclusive, package tour where the worst thing that will happen is a wicked hangover due to an excess of poolside Piña Coladas. For the rest of the normal backpackers without big expense accounts, good luck, and never-ending Pura Vida.
Man this is so accurate. You are my hero, I live here in Costa Rica, have been for 6+ years now, I fucking hate it, mainly because of the people that live here. Out of 100 people you might find one slightly honest person. Just a trash country.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin works in a call center. He says that "gringos are the dummest people ever. They want everything easy and they never use their little heads. At least once a day a gringo asks me about companies in THEIR shitty country. Why don't they figure it out themselves?"
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by dead is Tico (dead thank god); I lived in costa rica for about 15 years. I go back about every three years (due to family)... bottom line: I KNOW WHAT I'm talking about.
Deleteone more thing, I love traveling, I've traveled to 35 countries in ALL continents.
Costa Rica is the WORST country I've been to. Crime, dirty, dishonesty... and are you kidding me... they brag about the beaches... I've been to beaches in Fiji, Australia, Tahiti, Thailand, Mediteranean... and if you want something closer... just about anything in the Caribbean is way over the shit in Costa Rica.
People are lazy, effing thirld world country. the whole taxi vs uber is a mess... it looks like the dark ages...
bottom line... you may be from there... but work out the balls to be honest with your self... trump was wrong... there is only one SHITHOLE country... and that COSTA MIERDA
I lived there too. It's a shit hole and people should enjoy nature else where. Nicaragua is just as beautiful and less racist & over priced.
DeletePart of, or maybe most of how we experience in life has to do with the lens though which we see things. From what you have written, my sense is that you have a lot of expectations. I didn’t read anything in this blog about what you wanted to offer to Costa Rica and the people there. Just a lot of judgement, disappointment and anger. While I have tended to avoid tourist areas, my experience in Costa Rica has been quite different. I've developed friendships in remote areas as well as in San Jose. I'm under no illusion that Costa Rica is a permanent paradise. And yet when I approach people and circumstances with respect and kindness, their beauty and in all of life approaches me. The warmth and beauty of Costa Rica and the Ticos has touched my heart.
DeleteSo true
DeleteCR isn't unique in any of this, Latin America is poor and trashy and crime-ridden from the Northern Mexican Border all the way down to Tierra del Fuego. The legacy of Spanish Colonialism, classism, and Catholicism with some good ol cultural Marxism thrown on top. You get what you pray for.
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DeleteTotally accurate. I have been here for almost 8 years. People are completely blind to how fucked up it is here and economically speaking things are getting bad and continuing to slide downhill. The country is extremely expensive as well. The people seem to have this "holier than thou" attitude about how awesome Costa Rica is compared to the rest of central america. Businesses continue to leave the country left and right. The government is corrupt and screw over their own people, the public health care is bankrupt. Public schools are shit (even though ticos can't shut up about how well-educated everyone is). There is so much red tape to get through to set up a business it is ridiculous. People will do you a favor and expect one in return....they will find any way to fuck you over. Things are so Americanized down here it's incredible - it's all about McDonalds, Coke, Forever21 - They literally have no culture. Everyone wants to be your friend but with an alterior motive. It's almost like people like living in ignorance and are afraid to confront the reality of the situation down here. The sadest part is people here are either oblivious or choose to ignore how fucked up everything actually is. When they say "pura vida!" or "puros dieces!" or "tuanis!" it means "It's all good becuase that's what I want you to think"
ReplyDeleteWhy dont you go back to the states then you stupid hillbilly piece of shit
DeleteYou're such an ignorant little shit. Costa Rica is the safest country in Central America. Why do you think celebrities always go to Costa Rica? Because it's the SAFEST in Cenral America.
Delete"SAFEST" spot in hell is still hell - doesn't say much. Celebrities always go to caymans, panama, brazil and more too - just because a few show up in costa rica once in awhile doesn't mean anything. But them rapidly selling their homes here does. It just takes awhile before people realize how wrecked the culture is.
DeleteTicos need to stop defending the fantasy and do something before the lack of tourism crashes their fragile bankrupt economy. Its easy to just call people names and assume they are ignorant because they say things you don't like - but I also know plenty of well educated ticos that know very well these issues with this country are true.
I'm from Costa Rica, and i cant agree more with you!.. i left that country years ago, and everytime i have the painful unavoidable need to go back, i tried to keep myself lock. People ALWAYS is interested in something else, they have a phrase to live which defines their identity: "If you dont take advantage of the others, you are the idiot", "si usted no se aprovecha, el tonto es usted". They are racists, machos, and very violent, on top of SUPER religious to almost the extend to be orthodox... its a pitty, cos the country is BEAUTIFUL, but the ticos are top of the worst on the planet...
DeleteAgreed, Costa Rica is a piece of shit country. Internet and electricity is shit along with the people.... Yes the people are just fucking horrible. Dumb, Don't care, and Still stick their nose up in the air. Fucking Savages.....
ReplyDeleteI am from Costa Rica (no shit, I´m really are) and I approve this message.
ReplyDeleteI am also from Costa Rica and it is nice to see that I am not the only one that sees this 'paradise' as a living hell
DeleteAwesome!
DeleteHOWEVER....I´have had the chance to be in other countries (US included) and I can say they all suck too. Chile, Peru, Mexico, the US with its fat morongs, etc.
ReplyDeleteOnly place I´ve liked is Brazil.
This is true too. Every country that has a bad economy will result in a culture of tourist feeding desperate people.
DeleteI’m from this country and I prefer to stay in a small "bubble" (my home place on a farm) I feel trapped here, is totally insecure, dirt and everything is broken; the worst part is the people here. No culture, nor brave, nor risponsable same as Nicaraguan but worst ‘course ticos are "double face". Costa Nica or Costa Mierda, I feel shame about the rich biological species, like me, we aren’t guilty for living here.
DeleteDouble faced is pretty accurate. Why kind of bullshit has this world turned into that we cannot address the elephant in the room? Thank you for speaking out!!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI lived in Costa Rica for about 12 years. I saw the country go down hill from not a such high point though. People in Costa Rica are blind as to how fucked up the country is; culturally is a joke, economically is terrible, and honestly that whole "the happiest country in the world blah blah" is nothing but BS. Ticos live in this bubble in which they feel superior because they are surrounded by other just-as-fucked-up as CR countries like Nicaragua, Guatemala, etc. The level of corruption in CR is unbelievable. Costa Rica is not safe, girls have a hard time just going for a walk since at least 20,000 creeps will disrespect them in a matter of 5 mins or so. Exaggerated? Yeah, but you get the idea. People in CR are always trying to get something out of you; businesses will charge you more if you have an accent. Costa Rica is a joke and the only good things there are the things that were there already even before "civilization" came to be. I am happy I don't live in Costa Rica anymore, and I hope I never go back. AH and I almost forgot, that whole Green Country shit is BS when it comes to looking at their rivers and the seaside, there is shit everywhere. Hopefully things will change, but I doubt it. As long as they have a few pennies for beer and soccer games Ticos won't give a shit, such a shame.
ReplyDeleteI've been to costa rica twice, each time spending 1 month there. Took the bus is all over the place east coast west coast and north to south several times. I experienced angry tecoman all over the west coast and on the east coast in the Caribbean side people were much more calm and cool. Chicos as a rule do not like Americans, yet they will take your money. Everytime I ask for help I received blank stares and people would just walk away from me. I did notice there on the Caribbean side people were much more friendlier I guess because of the afro influence. Lots of crime everywhere, got my passport and backpack stolen and rummage through at various hostels throughout the country. Trash piles everywhere, all over the place. The only place I did not see this was in the rainforest. I had to run several times from Tico men that were about to chase me or take my money and my s***. Costa Rica in general is a place where money is so important that the tourism industry will charge you for rates and hotels the same as we pay here in America. Remember, there is always the gringo rate and the Tico rate for all goods and services in that country. Don't get me wrong, there are some amazingly beautiful spots in Costa Rica, but you have to find them on your own or do your research really well before you hit the country. The best way to enjoy Costa Rica is to stay at a private resort and stay out of the busy big city tourist areas.
ReplyDeleteGringos fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu always thinking you are the best. dont compare a third world country with a first ones motherfuckers. from a tico
ReplyDeleteYour country sucks. Even compared to all the other third world countries. I live in Bangkok, love the place. Costa Rica actually ruined a great relationship. The place is shit and it will always be shit and the fact you can't see that means you must have shit for brains.
DeleteI'm not a gringo. I come from Mexico and having endured the shitty, overglorified Pura Vida craphole that is Costa Rica, I fully agree with this blog. Your country is filled with lazy assholes who overcharge for terrible food, watered down crappy beer and poorly created "tourist attractions". I truly hope to never come back to this shithole.
DeleteWhy don't you get your "pura vida" friends together and clean up the trash you losers throw all over your "green" country. My god, what the hell is wrong with you people? You're so lazy... no wonder Cost Rica is now considered a shithole.
DeleteNah, asshole. I'm a tico who basically grew up in Bogota and now lives in Sao Paulo and I can confidently say that I'd be hard-pressed to find a bigger dump than San Jose and I can guarantee that you won't find a higher population of assholes anywhere else.
DeleteFuck you spic, come to my neighbor hood and me and my homies will knock the brown out of your skin,campesino
DeleteI agree 100%. I am costa rican and I hate this damn country so much. There have been times in which I just feel like I need to get out of here in a heart beat. Since childhood I have built my hate for this country, and up to now, my hatred is still pure and it still grows. I am a very different person from all the other weak-minded cancer people in this country. I really have the feeling that I NEED to get out of here, but in my devouring misery, I fear I may not be able. I am sorry for any mistakes in my english btw. Good post and thanks for spreading the message.
ReplyDeleteHola Ares,I am costa rican also, I grew up in California,had to move back to costa rica,I felt that need ALWAYS that I needed to leave in a heartbeat. I just needed to be on a plane, so I did it. And two years later I have traveled all.iber the wod, my life is so much better, and I will never mive back there. The law of attraction. Just go for it. Best decision I ever made. And I risked a lot. It was a risky move, I didn't really have money, etc. But I made it work. If your intuition is telling you you are too good for a place and you need to get the fuck out. It's TRUE. If you feel like you are not living the life you were meant to be.living, it's TRUE.
ReplyDeletePeace out mate!
It's been some months but I really want to thank you for your answer ^_^. I'll do everything I can to get out, no matter how hard. I can feel it, it's true. Thanks.
DeleteFor all of the Costan Ricans who were offended by this article, realize that the first point I discussed was the ignorant 'gringo' tourists. I worked in the tourism industry in Costa Rica and was always disappointed to see foreigners who only visited Costa Rica because it is the safest, friendliest, most beautiful, etc while completely ignoring its equally amazing neighbors: Nicaragua, Panama, Honduras, etc.
ReplyDeleteWhat bothered me particularly with Costa Ricans was that I studied Spanish, worked in translation and speak near-fluent Spanish. But I'm a a white gringo. Taxi drivers, bartenders, hotel employees, drug dealers would openly talk negative about me in front of my face, try to overcharge me, hustle me, insult me and then get angry that I understood them. Most of the negative incidents I mentioned in this article happened because I engaged these people in Spanish, and they did not like it. I thought that speaking the local language was respectful, but it seems many there would prefer to rip off their 'gringo' business.
I am mexican living in the US and i have travelled all over mexico and Europe and i was very dissapointed of Costa Rica (visited Nov 2016). They charge you even for breathing, the service in hotels, restaurants, stores, buses is terrible!! Everybody is just pissed off, i can feel the resentment in people, they treat you like they are doing you a favor or act like you are bothering them everytime you want to buy something (encountered a few nice people). This place is soooooo expensive even more expensive than Europe and lots of hidden charges. I even had to pay $5 dlls just to enter the airport in Quepos!
ReplyDeleteThe food everywhere was just ok but the prices were steep. Even at the supermarket the bill was huge for just a few items. I ve travelled to many cities in mexico and the people are way nicer and fun, the food is absolutely delicious and inexpensive. I also would like to point that i spoke always in spanish, i have a mexican accent not american and i was still treated poorly. With the amount of taxes and service fee everyone charges i would expect the city to have at least sidewalks but there were none, we were almost ran over by cars several times walking to the beach.
Also whats up with the lack of signs EVERYWHERE? Thank god we decided to rent gps when renting a car in San Jose because without it we couldnt have gone anywhere! No bridges were marked, no main roads, no town names, no beach signs NOTHING!!!
Look at all these butt hurt Costa Ricans.
ReplyDeleteI'm costarrican and you have a very good point. I have a love/hate relationship with this country. Thankfully I have dual US citizenship, so I have an easier chance for leaving, though I need money for that. I never felt that I belonged here, after some personal events from yesterday I think I'm begining to really accept that. Though there are good and decent people here there is a huge backstabing and lazy culture and it disgusts me, there's a pathetic obssesion with peace that is completely false and delusional, many people are delusional about many things here. It's pathetic and frustrates me. Anyway, I approve your post, as much as fellow ticos hate it, it's true. They just don't/can't/want to see it.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you and your attitude are long gone.
ReplyDeleteGee, so you got pissed because you had to ask someone where the public bus stop (right in front of the airport) is while being pestered by pirate taxistas trying to hustle a fare? How thoughtlessly selfish of them to offer a visitor a ride. I'm sorry that you were so inconvenienced. Costa Rica really should have government-paid guides to hold the hands of visitors and walk them to the bus stop.
And then you wanted a bus schedule. Why? Zillions of buses pass by, most of them heading to San José, and unless it was the wee hours of the morning, I seriously doubt you had to wait 20 minutes. Posting a schedule for buses that come this frequently would be pointless.
And then, drawing I suppose as you did from the excellent public transportation service in St. Louis, you believe that San José should have only one central bus station. Maybe you should share your brilliant idea for how hundreds of bus routes should all arrive and depart from the same station with Costa Rica's transportation planners. I'm sure they will appreciate your insights into how acres and acres of buses lined up behind one another would be so much more efficient.
Since I have fortunately never been in a taxi with you, I have no idea how you managed to piss off the drivers so regularly, but you provide a clue when you admit that you gave a taxista 1000 for a 3000 fare. I'm sure he appreciated the 2000 lesson you taught him about how to follow a know-it-all gringo's shitty directions exactly. He will never make that mistake again! And btw, instead of trying to prove your sophisticated insider knowledge to the taxistas, why not just talk to them as equals? Strangely, I have not once had any problem with a taxista after 10 years in Costa Rica, yet somehow you tallied multiple grievances against them in a couple years.
Neither, strangely, have I ever been robbed--yet you managed to be robbed twice. I wonder what explains the difference?
My guess is that the explanation is your attitude. I base my guess in part on the fact that my brother was robbed at gunpoint right in front of the apartment where I've lived for 10 years without ever being robbed myself--and he was only here for two weeks. My brother though was a boistrous gringo drunk who liked to flash around money and play the big shot. Guys like that get robbed.
You're also likely right in your guess that a taxista was probably not fetching a bottle of tequila from his trunk. You see, while tequila is available here and some people drink it, it's primarily a Mexican drink. Visting gringos can never seem to understand that they aren't in Mexico, since in their ethnocentric eyes every place below Texas is Mexico. The local booze would be Cacique.
Meanwhile, I gather that you worked during your two miserable years in Costa Rica. How exactly did you manage that legally, or were you just another gringo working illegally on a constantly renewed 90-day tourist visa? I just want to have a better fix on your thorough respect for the laws and customs of the country you hate so much. Knowing that you had this respect goes a long way toward lending credibility to your complaints, since without that respect, golly, you come off as just another arrogant gringo.
And btw, Alajuela is the arch rival of Saprissa, not Alajuelita. Alajuelita is a largely poor area on the south side of San José. Alajuela, as you know from your heart-wrenching experience finding the bus stop right in front of the airport, is the city, well, next to the airport.
Here's an idea: Next time why don't you either stay the fuck home or at least limit your time in Costa Rica to a couple weeks at the beach and do what tourists are supposed to do (even enjoy drinks with little umbrellas in them)? Know-it-all gringos who overstay their vacations only to fancy themselves astute cultural critics get old and smelly fast.
Raleigh, I'm sorry to hear you had such a bad time in Costa Rica. I can't believe you've been robbed twice and been a witness of a murder scene, Gosh!! In my whole life of living in Costa Rica, I haven't been robbed or seen a murder, I guess, it is a matter of luck or I know very well, what places not to go. But the sadest part is that I believe you. I know that this can happen in my country :(
ReplyDeleteI hope you're doing well, where ever you are.
(One of your students at Berlitz)
It definitely happens. My friend just went to Costa Rica and was found with stab wounds and beat up pretty bad.
DeleteBe safe.
I find this all rather mysterious. We are Canadian and have been here for 4 years. We never lock our car and have never had anything taken from it. We find the people kind, helpful, and patient with our halting Spanish. We live in tico neighbourhoods and yeah, the horrible music can be annoying and people burn stuff and the bureaucracy can drive you mad but it's better than driving to work in sleet.
Delete"Man this is so accurate. You are my hero, I live here in Costa Rica, have been for 6+ years now, I fucking hate it, mainly because of the people that live here. Out of 100 people you might find one slightly honest person. Just a trash country."
ReplyDeleteLol the real question is why the fuck would you live somewhere you hate for 6+ years? What kind of moron stays somewhere they think is trash
I can see you have learn some of the things we are known for: Exaggeration!. Really?Out of 100 people you might find one slightly honest person?!. I think you are just one of those dishonest people hanging around with people like you.
DeleteRest assure that my friends and most of my relatives are hard workers (most of them women!) and very honest and caring people.
Yes, Costa Rica is a very fucked up country as many in this blog have stated but hey! have you noticed there is no perfect country or group of people. Please, try to travel more and live in different places so you can see and have different perspectives and knowledge "mi amigo"!, haha!
Right Raleigh?, the Balkans; "great" bloody history,very bloody by the way and it is a beautiful area (countries) but still very volatile and fucked up...
When you go to another country and live there for a good amount of time; well, guess what; the real shit comes out!
I once met this "piece of work" who kept complaining about CostaRicans and was racist and the "A"-hole kept living in Costa Rica for years...
Yes, The real question is why the fuck would you live somewhere you hate for X amount of years?
¡Qué te vaya bien "amigo (a)"!.
..."paranoid, depressed, alcoholic and ready to shoot the next person who calls me, my friend? ", very funny actually and true!.
ReplyDeleteI was born, raised and educated in Costa Rica. Had the chance to travel all around my country and other Latin and European countries...
Most of my family lives in Costa Rica, most of my friends.
Costa Rica was a "paradise"...when I grew up (80´s), not anymore. Sad. Awful corruption, very expensive, very dangerous (even more if you are a woman),sexist, religious (in a bad way). The average Costarican thinks Costa Rica is the best thing in the world.
Costa Rica is nobody´s land. Everything can happen there; child prostitution,assassinations,murders (they shoot you and stab you for nothing, this is not petty crime for god sake people!)money laundry, shark finning...
Costa Ricans don´t like anybody, no one!, not even Costa Ricans!
Spot on
DeleteI totally agree. I have lived in CR for the last 9 years. My wife is from here as well. We have planned to leave the Great "Pura Vida" bullshit country where everyone is screwing each other and acting to be your friend. 35% of the countries GDP is money laundering, mostly from the corrupt banking system and left wing government, so anyone that has spent some time there knows what I'm talking about. My home has been robbed twice by my local neighbors and friends and when I called the police they did nothing, even when I knew who robbed me. So, go there, it's not a question if you are going to get screwed, it's when you are going to get screwed.
ReplyDeleteYou stupid fucking gringos only come to Costa rica to dirt it, you are the TRASH here I fucking despite you!!, I wish there was a fucking VISA so it gets fucking hard for you to come here, we have to help your sorry asses when you are fucking lost, seeing your stupid lost faces makes me wanna vomit so hard, why don´t you stay in your fucking Donal trump racist as shit Syphilis cunt country, you and your stupid president are a pleague in this beautiful world I wish China and Russia send you a pretty atomic bomb. if you dont like Costa Rica please.....!! fucking go..!! you contaminate the air with your disgusting gringo smell. take a shower bitches. :-) Pura Vida carepichas!
ReplyDeleteCareful now, no tourists and costa rica crashes - its the only thing keeping the country alive - especially as more and more big business leave due to socialist labor laws, corrupt costly CCSS, corrupt costly ICE - all CR has left is tourism.
DeleteYou don't like "our" faces? Ha ha. Maybe next time we'll send bombs instead. Seriously, Russia and China aren't going to do shit simply cos a little CR cunt makes a wish.
DeleteYour useless, midget-dick country isn't worth dog shit.
I am neither Costa Rican or Gringo but I am educated white female from the UK.., and I have visited Costa Rica twice... once for a 4 month period. I agree that Costa Rica not only has beautiful rain forests and beaches but does have a shadow side of drugs and dishonesty.., like most countries in the world has their share of poverty and subsequent manifestations of that poverty., tell me one government that is not corrupt ?! please, politics the world over is bullshit. But I have to say their is nothing that makes me want to vomit more than the ignorant pigs that are gringos. Sorry but most of you guys that come over have a typical superiority complex and this self entitilement. Yes just like Trump, a rascist monster., these traits are often displayed in gringos and I despise it. The people that have written that you should fuck off and stay in Gringo land are correct. Why are there so many gringos crawling all over CR ruining the vibe. No wander the locals are frustrated. The gringos have come in with their money and egos and taken over , they mistreat the locals and pretty much treat them as modern day slaves...wouldn't you be pissed off if your land was being invaded by assholes and mistreating you.., I am with you Costa Ricans.., not saying you are perfect but over the Gringos any day !!
DeleteEspanol ('pa los ticos enojados)
DeleteMe alegre mucho de ver que despues de 4 anyos ese articulo todavia les interesa mucho a ticos y gringos iguales. Todos los dias en Costa Rica entre 2012 y 2014 hablaba en espanol con los Ticos (en los anyos de Obama.) A pesar de mis esfuerzos y humilidad muchos Ticos no les gustaba cuando un gringo hablara su idioma. Pensaba yo que cuando uno viaja o viva en un pais extranjero que el deseo de aprender el idioma materno es el mejor metodo de portarse bien con la gente. No era asi en Costa Rica.
No hablo de mis amigos ticos, a quienes les quiero y extrano mucho. Hablo de la gente corriente: los taxistas, los vendedores, los empleados de los hoteles y, si, los carpiches narcotraficantes que me molestaba en cada esquina de la ciudad xq soy blanco. Siempre me miraba de reojo, o me preguntaba porque hablaba espanol...
English (for the angry gringos)
I'm happy to see that after 4 years this article is still so interesting for many Ticos and Gringos alike. Every day from 2012 to 2014 in Costa Rica I'd speak Spanish with Ticos (in the Obama years.) Despite my attempts and my humility, many Ticos did not like to see a Gringo speaking their language. I always thought that when one travels or lives in a foreign country, speaking the native language was the best way to treat yourself well with people. It wasn't like this in Costa Rica.
I'm not talking about my Tico friends, who I love and miss dearly. I'm talking about the day-to-day people: the taxi drivers, the tourist vendors, the hotel employees and, yes, the fucking drug dealers who bothered me on every street corner just because I'm white. They always gave me ugly looks, or asked me why I was speaking Spanish.
This comment shows exactly how uneducated many of the tic@s are haha. These ignorant insects always JUGANDO DE VIVOS cannot find another way to argue other than by throwing some cursing words and dead wishes haha their little peanut only allows them to reach that far
DeleteAnyways, i loved this post and its nice to know that there are many people out there having the same feeling towards this shitty ass country and its shitty ass people. However, this post was FAR too nice cause in reality CR (people and culture) is 100+ times worst than what’s its describing. Wouldn’t recommend anyone to come at all unless you want to get out of civilization.
- a tica
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DeleteHey Osma no seas carapicha hijoeputa, estamos hablando de situaciones serias aca, no nos interesa sus prestamos de mierda - carapicha. (I'm not tico, but learned fast)
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If this article wasn't so spot on, it would be funny. I walked away from a house in this shit hole.
ReplyDeleteWell as a local I can say you`re alright, white europeans will be robbed in here, but thats small for all the shit anglosaxon thieves have done to the planet. costa rica is a hellish place to live unless youre rich.
ReplyDeleteYes, hellish for the ordinary, simple people. Very low salaries for unqualified people, very high for doctors and lawyers, especially when working for the government. Hard fight for survival for all the others. And still, many are smiling and having good mood, positive.
DeleteI just lived in Costa Rica for six months in an apartment. I will NEVER live here again. The food sucks, people are rude, and the drivers are complete ASSHOLES. Everything is over priced and ready...... every night these people leave their dogs out to bark bark bark!! My god, what a shithole!!! Going somewhere else next winter.... oh yeah, if you want to see how "green" Costa Rica is, maybe you'll get to see locals dumping paint and motor oil into the Torres river like I did. Don't believe the "Pura Vida" bullshit...garbage everywhere...
ReplyDeletegreat post, thanks for sharing
ReplyDeletewe (gringos, specifically americans) gave costa rica a middle class. they don't like to remember this and continue to be jealous and bitter about our wealth and what we gave them. if it wasn't for gringos, ticos would still be eating flies.
ReplyDeleteI LITERALLY LOVE YOUR COMMENT. YES U R RIGHT, THEIR JEALOUSLY IS ABHORRENT!!!!
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Went there with a group of people to Puerto Viejo. It was nice to visit, but take absolutely nothing of value (sentimental or monetary) with you and you will have a good time. One couple had their room broken into and lost a lot of things...then they were robbed again two days later on the street. Another guy got his safe cleaned out.
ReplyDeleteYeah, never again.
Costa rica is an amazing place to travel as it lies in the central america and well this place is well-known for maintaining its stable democracy and this city has much to explore and you can enjoy the beauty of the islands and beaches and take the fun of the adventurous activities like surfing, boating and scuba diving and much more and if you have a budget problem than you can hire the tourist operator as they manage your tip at your budget and make your trip more affordable and comfortable.
ReplyDeleteI am a European living in Costa Rica for 1 year now. My impression is not as negative as the article and some comments. It is true that the infrastructure, especially roads, is weak. It is also true that for many Ticos it is hard to speak critically about their country. But the worst for me is how weak the economy is, many companys have left and the socialist governments don't do enough to attract foreign investment. Tariffs are high and increase the prices of imported goods. The labor market is protected and keeps the salaries too high in comparison with the competitivity of the country. Also, the public debt problem is not really solved, as is the public healthcare. They charge huge monthly Caja amounts to foreigners that want to become residents to improve the finances of their healthcare. Personally, I think that Costa Rica will go lower from here, I would never invest in a house or a business here as I think everything will get much worse before getting better. The relation of what you pay for and what you get is in many cases not appropriate, and for tourists, with the hotel prices, national park and tour fees, restaurant prices, etc., even less. On the positive side, you can live much more cheaply in non tourist areas in the central valley and the mountains. You can eat Casado for usd 3, Pinto for usd 2. The food is maybe not that diverse, not like Mexico or Peru, but what they serve is tasty. You can rent a home for usd 300 per month. The people are rural, simple people, with traditional values, but not unfriendly at all. Ticos are often very correct and they have a non-confrontative nature. The air is good and it's not too hot because of the elevation. Also, I like their stable democracy, and that they have independent courts. Corruption exists, but is less than some european countries like Italy, Greece, or even Spain. Concerning crime, it important to dress down in Latin America. If you don't show your money, you can reduce the risk of being robbed. To sum it up, Costa Rica seems to me to be a liveable country for expats, especially retirees. For younger expats that want to work in the country, I do not recommend it, as the economy is so weak.
ReplyDeleteHey mate, you didn't mention their fucking bureaucracy, even retirees are suffering from it. Also, you missed their overpricing habits. Together with an unbelievable catholic hypocrisia, full of ladrones y mentirosos, it really makes Costa Rica a bad choice to stay. Costa Rica sucks!
DeleteHaving read this blog and being neither tico nor american, I have some questions. How can it be that the americans go to costa rica and expect that everything is perfect? This is the attitude of a mama son! And how can it be that they cannot stand any frustration or deception? Is that just a young generation that never had to endure hardship and takes immediately opioids when there is a problem in life? Sorry, but I just do not get it.
ReplyDeleteCosta Rica is a beautiful country, but there are problems. My wife and I went to Costa Rica to apply for residency and start a new life. We were willing to bring substantial amounts of money into the country to qualify for residency. In fact, much of our life savings.
ReplyDeleteFirst, we could not open a bank account to deposit the money. Just impossible to open an ordinary bank account in Costa Rica without residency. Even if you need the account for your residency application. Complete nonsense. Insurmountable hurdles! Therefore, we had to find another solution.
Second, once all documents were handed in to the immigration, they made us wait for over a year. No response! Finally, finally, after asking for updates many times, they refused our application. Because an official stamp was missing on the documents. A ridiculous small stamp! Our lawyer had overlooked the issue when submitting the documents. Unreliable! And immigration never asked to correct it, to add the stamp.They just made us wait for over a year, knowing that the documents were incomplete. Wasting our time and money.
Honestly I have never experienced such a disrespectful treatment by authorities anywhere else in the world. Crazy that they did not even notify us!
Happy to have left, and we hope to find a place where we will feel welcome. And where we can have a peaceful life to forget all the frustration that Costa Rica caused us with its unreliability, bureaucratic hurdles, and inefficient administration.
Good to post that one, my partner had a similar experience. Costa Rica proudly believes to be a model democracy, but unfortunately, it is a dictatorship of the bureaucrats. Sad.
DeleteSurprise and good news. My partner got her residency today, after a court forced the immigration officials to apply the law correctly. Encouraging to see that even the power of those bureaucrats is not without limits.
DeleteCongratululations for this blog!
ReplyDeleteMost things have been said, and they correspond 100% to what I have lived in Costa Rica during the 3 years I lived there. Costa Ricans are dishonest, lazy, ignorant, and backstabbing. There preferred way of earning money is by working little to nothing. The whole system depends much on tourist and foreign residents money, and foreigners are charged fees for everything, including dual pricing.
Warning: If you think about early retirement in Costa Rica, you must know that you will have to pay 200 to 300 USD per month for the CAJA. Even if you are young and have a good health. And the American retirees pay less than 100 USD per month, despite being old. Because CAJA depends on the income. For them (Pensionado), income is the pension. But for you (Rentista), income is the 2500 USD rent from the money that you deposited in the bank. That's why you pay so much and that's why I live in Peru now.
Can anyone anyone start a Costa Rica sucks blog! Sign me up. Worst place to be.
ReplyDeleteMuhrrduhh@gmail.com
I've been around the world 4 times and I know for a fact that the most unfriendly, hideous people on the planet are Israelis, White South Africans and Costa Ricans.
ReplyDeleteIt is a shithole....never in my 66 years have I encounter such disrespectful, lazy, racist, arrogant,stupid people.. I am ashamed for them,, I hope to sell my house and get out of here....and what is the deal with all these Ticos taking their dogs out to shit on the sidewalk??? Talk about nasty..
ReplyDeleteWorst article I have ever read. Making it seem that CR Is the only place you experience some of these things. Was this your first trip out of the country or??? You and also people in the comments really blame your own unhappiness and personal problems on a whole ass country? Comical.
ReplyDeleteWorst article I have ever read. Making it seem that CR Is the only place you experience some of these things. Was this your first trip out of the country or??? You and also people in the comments really blame your own unhappiness and personal problems on a whole ass country? Comical.
ReplyDeleteLoni, you are right in some parts. A Tico taxi driver once asked me if I agreed that many Americans are crazy. I wholeheartedly agreed, and as you can see they do not only bash other countries like CR but also among themselves. With their divisive, polarized thinking they ultimately destroy their own country too. On the other hand CR has really some serious systemic and mentality problems. Personally I believe that Ticos should be more critical about their country in order to improve it.
DeleteAnd that is why the entire world hates americans
DeleteI don't hate Americans, I actually used to like them. But now, they are more like a friend that got off the good path. Their self destruction makes me feel pity sometimes. I hope that the next election will be a step back in the right direction.
DeleteYou’re just another noob pussy who needs every adventure handed to him outside of his silver spooned existence... I was board 2 paragraph. Stay home, please.
ReplyDeleteCosta Rica is a shithole. They do everything ok and NOTHING WELL. FORGET EXCELLENT and Class???? Hahaha They wouldnt know it if it bit them in their tico ass! They have zero upward mobility. Huh??? Exactly. Dont waste your time with these idiots who see you as a walking talking ATM.
ReplyDeleteOh and btw... every guy is a drug dealer and every women is a prostitute! Get a life people
ReplyDeleteFuck Costa Rica and fuck Costa Ricans. Motherfuckers deported me at the airport back to my country. I hope an earthquake sinks it into the ocean.
ReplyDeleteI’ve lived five months in Costa Rica and I was chased with a bat because I told a guy to be careful driving like a maniac down the street. I was almost run over twice in the middle of the street when I was crossing the street responsibly. I’ve never lived in a place where people have purposefully tried to run me over as a pedestrian in the street. In from New York so it’s not like I don’t know how to cross the street. This was in Escazú, one of the nicest districts in this city. I’ve been ripped off at stores and sold counterfeit goods. I have tried to get clothes tailored here and was charged hundreds of dollars for cheap used fabrics for a pair of shoes I literally had to throw away and never wore. I didn’t choose to come here. My job sent me here but man I’m shocked at the lack of respect in this country. I had a very positive image of this country before coming here.
ReplyDeleteBtw I’ve lived in New York, DC, New Orleans, Bogotá, Caracas in the mid 2000s, Thailand, Santo Domingo, etc. This is by far the unfriendliest and rudest place I’ve been to. Also, the men and women here dress like teenagers from 2001. People wear shorts and sneakers to nice restaurants. It’s just an awful experience. They get very upset and angry just watching you wear nice things. It’s a lot of petty envy and insecurities.
Deleteyou guys have hit it on the head...... I agree with you ALL Totally!!!!!!!!! I am selling out and leaving... don't plan to ever come back!!!!!!! Worst people ever!!
ReplyDeleteCosta Rica is a hopeless case. I loved the religious fanatics at San Jose and Alajuela bus terminals. They have huge bibles and even loudspeakers. They are telling the people that the world will end soon. For Costa Rica that may well be true, at least economically.
ReplyDelete"The End" (The Doors)
DeleteTitle song of "Apocalypse Now"
Agreed. There are also plenty of active Jehovah Witness and other Evangelicals, like Seventh Day Adventists. But don't forget to mention the American expats from the bible belt. Some of those are fanatics, too. Religion is definitely toxic in Costa Rica.
DeleteThere is a lot of hypocrisia and artificial moralism in Costa Rica's religious landscape
DeleteFuck Costa Rica and its officials! Last week I flew to SJO to renew my DIMEX. Due to Covid I had not visited the country for over a year, and during my absence of course I had not paid my CAJA contributions. At the airport they stopped me, asking me to pay CAJA. I said that by law I had 21 days to do that, and that I had private travel insurance for this period. They still withheld me, askimg plenty of questions for 2 more hours. It was a nightmare, they tried to brainwash me about their fucking CAJA. Just unbelievable.
ReplyDeleteAs a consequence, I didn't renew my residency anymore. I just took my rentista bank deposit and left the country. Even when leaving, they stopped me and asked why I had not paid CAJA. I responded that I will not return to Costa Rica anymore and that I do not intend to subsidize their bankrupt CAJA for the lazy ones. Then, they let me go quickly, not even lookimg at me anymore. FUCKING ASSHOLES.
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ReplyDeleteSimilar to you, I really dislike Costa Rica.
ReplyDeleteSorry, but it's true.
-Kate Yelkovan
Costa Rica believes their own shit, the just elected a man that was fired from the World Bank for sexually attacking women. Women are second class citizens, expect to get gropped, and people will ask you to dress modestly so you are not a target of misogyny. FUCK YOU COSTA RICA.
ReplyDeleteOh and FUCK YOU MR. PRESIDENT OF COSTA RICA, DISCUSTING SEXUAL PREDATOR THAT SHOULD KILL YOUSELF AS A FAVOR TO THE VICTIMS OF YOUR SEXUAL ASSAULTS. I HOPE YOU GET EATEN BY ONE OF THOSE ANGRY CROCODILES 🐊 YOU HAVE THERE. MAYBE YOU ARE A LIZZARD YOURSELF AND THATS WHY YOU ACT AS SUCH.
ReplyDeleteI'm from Costa Rica and I still don't know why we are the 'Switzerland of Central America'.
ReplyDeleteThe government has a huge debt that has only increased over the years, the prices are increasing and the poverty is affecting more families around the country (around 20-24% of population to this date), crimes occur at a daily basis and the police is highly inefficient.
And last but not least, if you're an American that wants to live/retire here, YOU BETTER NOT GET SICK. Seriously, the CCSS (Caja Costarricense del Seguro Social) will not attend you unless you're fucking dying, or if they don't see you with your guts in your hands.
And there's something else, I highly recommend you to rent a car instead of using public transportation. Streets are ugly as shit and the buses are as old as my grandmother. You could die if you use one of them because many of the buses here violate the maximum capacity policy.
8-5-2023. Nothing has changed Costa rica still sucks and the xenophobic racist fucks keep it that way. Pura vida es Pura Mierda
ReplyDeleteI work with Costa Ricans on a daily basis; they are the laziest most ignorant workers I have ever met! Getting them to do their jobs is like having to constantly chase after children to go clean their rooms! I'll gladly take one Indian worker over many Costa Ricans.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree, lazy is an understatement. When you call them out on their BS, they say " if you don't like it go home." Medioracy is the theme of the day. Pura Vida means we could care less in all due reality. Expect back stabing galore. Run 🏃♀️ 🏃♂️ and run from this lifeless mentality.
DeleteCosta Rica does suck. Over priced, shitty food, lack of variety in products. However, I do like that it is not a haven for backpackers. As a former backpacker in my younger days, I saw many fellow foreign backpackers that I loathed. Cheap asses, take advantage of locals, weird loners and always looking out for number one....themselves. You sound like one of those I just described. So I don't like Costa Rica and I don't like you.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE Costa Rica. Everyone has been a lot nicer to me than any other country I’ve visited. My only complaint are the roads… which can still be fun to drive on
ReplyDeleteVisiting CR for an all expense paid ‘work trip’. I’ m in what is considered a very ‘nice’ ‘upscale’ resort (Westin Playa Conceal). 100% agree-This place is freakin’ terrible. I will never come back. I get harassed to buy shit & get massages on the beach non-stop; can’t even enjoy it. No peace & quite anywhere. The food is terrible despite being an all inclusive resort catering to outsiders. What makes it truly unbearable is the ‘better-than-thou’ attitude of the people I’ve encountered here. I accidentally wandered onto an exclusive residential property next door to the Westin while walking near the beach. I was accosted by three security guards and treated like a criminal. They were rude as fuck & acted like I was a homeless drug addicted thieving piece of trash because I was not a member of the exclusive club. This place is the worst country I’ve ever visited. Can’t wait to get the hell outta here. You can keep your overpriced shit hole & be snobby about it. Jupiter should know though that nearly every country in the world remaining has more ‘high-class’ residences/hotels than CR & they don’t treat visitors/tourists like shit for merely setting eyes on it. You think you have money - Honestly, you’ve no idea what real money looks like. Best to stay & keep your delusion as you’d be very disappointed elsewhere in the world … you’re no better & no different than the maids/your slaves that clean your gold plated toilets.
ReplyDeleteI had mixed experiences. I have bee al over Costa Rica and Nicaragua. Never had any outright dishonesty problem with CR. In NI I did have some things vanish when a "friend" was around. But only isolated case. In both CR and NI I misplace money and items in reputable hotels and they were returned to me. My Tico girlfriend has more trouble at night than I. IIor NI. The
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